


The Scars That Bind Us

by warsisbetterthantrek



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warsisbetterthantrek/pseuds/warsisbetterthantrek
Summary: Two Shot, Set in Alexandria. Things just haven't been the same between Lily and Daryl since the awful events of Terminus. Maybe all he needs to rekindle their flame is a little nudge in the right direction.





	1. Chapter 1

Lily

Alexandria was everything that they had hoped for and more. They were finally safe, something they hadn't been able to say for a long long time. I stretched out my back, the muscles still sore from my time at Terminus. I thanked God for small favors, mostly that we weren't eaten, but that didn't mean some of us weren't hurt...I sighed. Time to get up for the day and do your part for the community! If there was one nice thing about the end of the world, it was not having to make nice with your neighbors. Unfortunately that was the exact price of our current arrangement. I'd pulled kitchen duty with Carol today so at least I could be happy with that. The short haired older woman had been a close friend since Atlanta, and when she finally rejoined the group after the attack on Terminus, I'd bawled like a child.   
I made my way downstairs from my bedroom in one of the houses that had been assigned to us. We had just split up a few weeks ago, and it still felt strange to be apart from everyone. I was glad that Sasha shared my bed every night, we had an unspoken agreement that we would stay that way for the time being. I knew she got just as much out of it as I did, just the feeling of someone else sleeping next to me was more comforting than I was willing to admit. Glenn and Maggie were in the kitchen when I got downstairs, drinking coffee and having breakfast.   
"Hey Lily, how'd you sleep?" Maggie got up to pour me a coffee as she asked. It was so strange to see them like this. Almost as if they were a normal couple. Having coffee in the morning in this beautiful, huge house.   
"It was OK. Better now that Sasha stays here. Those first couple of nights were rough but I think I'm getting used to it." Maggie nodded as she set the steaming mug down in front of me.   
"I know what you mean. Even though Glenn is always there it feels weird to wake up not surrounded by the group. Lonely almost."  
"Gee thanks Maggie." Glenn teased, mock rolling his eyes. She slapped his hand and kissed his cheek.   
"You know what I mean." I smiled and drained my delicious brew. I didn't eat breakfast. My body so accustomed to eating almost nothing that the extra food would only make me feel sick. Besides I was working in the kitchen so I could snack all day if I had to.   
The air was crisp outside and I was glad of the long sweater I had brought. Whoever had stacked the closet before me had good taste. And thanks to a delightful combination of malnutrition and the overly athletic lifestyle I had been forced to adopt over the last few years, I fit the tiny clothes that my closet provided. Hopefully now I'll put a couple pounds back on. I thought to myself. It wasn't that I was horribly skinny, but I missed some of the softness of my body pre-apoclypse. It was hard to feel feminine when all I ever wore were baggy tanks, buck knives and combat boots.   
"Hey sweetie. Sleep well?" Carol greeted me as I walked into the back door of the pantry. I mmhmmed my assent and hugged her hello. I was still so relieved to see her every day that I felt a almost self conscious. First we got her back at Terminus, and then I almost lost her again at the hospital. Seeing her was like coming home, and I never wanted to lose that feeling again. I could tell in the way that she hugged me back that her own feelings weren't far from my own.  
"How about I check your back before we get started? We're working outside in the garden today and I don't want to push it before you're all healed up."   
"It feels fine, just a little stiff. I think all the cuts are closed up to be honest." Without noticing I had wrapped my arms around my small torso. There was more than one reason I hadn't been eating as much as I should...  
"Hun, just let me check OK?" Carol's soothing tone and her gentle hands pried my arms away and lifted my shirt. Although it felt a little strange to be standing in the kitchen in just my bra, it was oddly only something I had very recently become self conscious of. I had been an underwear model in my time before all this. I had been about as body confident as I could be. And then Terminus happened. I had left there with more than just the scars on my body. Although, I told myself, It could have been so much worse.   
"They look good,"I felt her cool fingers trace the red lines I knew were there, checking for swelling or bumps, "They're healing really well Lily. Maggie did a good job stitching you up."  
"Considering all she had were some random threads and a blunt needle I'd say she did masterfully." I heard Carol laugh slightly behind me as she helped me pull my shirt back on.   
"You're one tough girl. That's all I can say. They may have beat you, but they sure as hell didn't break you." I smiled in spite of myself and part of me glowed with pride at her words. We worked in the garden until about the late afternoon when we decided to take a well deserved break. Sitting on the stoop of the pantry house we were sipping lemonade when Aiden Monroe, son of the leader of the town came walking up to us.   
"Hey girls. Taking a gossip break? Anything juicy?" I bristled slightly at his tone, but put on my best pretty girl smile,   
"Oh don't you wish you knew what we were talking about." I smirked at him in the way I knew would make him think I was flirting. The grin on his face widened and he had an almost mischievous look to him when he replied.   
"Maybe I'll find out at the party. You ladies are coming tonight right? It's the social event of the year." I laughed, his mother's barbecue to mark the month anniversary of the new people joining their group was hardly an evening I was looking forward to, and he clearly thought as much of it as I did. Ever the actress, Carol took the opportunity to solidify her new character.   
"I think it'll be great, just like how the world used to be. Tea and barbecues with the neighbors. Gosh I know I miss all those things." I rolled my eyes a little at Aiden, making him think we were in on a joke together. Us against this desperate housewife. Bait that he immediately took by the look on his face. I bit my lip a little rose to my feet.   
"It's a good thing we have guys like you going on runs for us Aiden. Otherwise it'd be a pretty dull party," his back straightened at my words. Damn these preppy boys make this so easy, "Well we really should get back to work. See you at the party Aiden." I flashed him another smile as we headed in, bursting into silent giggles as soon as we shut the door.   
"My god his face!" Carol wheezed, "I'd have thought he was going to propose any second."  
I laughed loudly, feeling the full force in my throat.   
"Guys like him are so easy. A little flattery and a quick smile and they're putty in your hands." From a young age I'd known how to use my looks to get what I wanted, and since the end of the world had started I had needed to use them less and less. Focusing instead on my survival skills and my speed with a knife. Still though, they did come in handy for throwing off suspicion as to my real talents. My father had me in martial arts since I was 7 years old, and I had taken to it like a fish to water. Knife play had been something I had picked up only after the dead started walking and the living became almost as bad. And I had gotten good. Very good.   
Carol had had the smart idea to play herself off as the doting wife and den mother. And I had managed to take a leaf out of her book. Still badly injured I hadn't exactly been an intimidating sight when we rolled up to the gates of the small community. Since then I had done a pretty good job of making everyone believe that I was a 10 in the looks department, but not much of anything else. Not the most flattering role to play, but like Rick had said, we needed a few hidden aces.   
Just in case.  
"Speaking of men that are putty in your hands, have you seen Daryl around lately?" She asked cautiously. I felt the familiar butterflies at the sound of his name and shook my head,   
"First of all, Daryl Dixon is no woman's putty. And secondly no, I haven't. He's been fixing up that bike at Aaron's place 24/7, and I think he's been avoiding me...he hasn't said anything to you has he?" The older woman looked at me levelly. I could tell she knew something. But she was just as close with the younger Dixon brother as she was with me, and if he had said anything to her I very much doubted she was going to tell me.  
"Just give him time Hun. He'll come around, he's just working some things out. But I did think he was going to try to make an appearance the last few days...I guess not. I doubt he'll be at the party in any case." I laughed a little.   
Daryl Dixon at a community barbecue, that'll be the day.   
"Probably not." As much as people liked to joke, Daryl had never seemed any more interested in me than in any other female member of the group. We were closer than he was with most of them, that was for sure, but not in the way they all thought. I knew how men looked at me when they wanted something more, and Daryl had never looked at me like that. Part of me was glad to finally have a friend who didn't just want to get in my pants. But another, larger, part of me just wanted him to see me as a woman and not just his hunting partner. Words I never thought I'd say. Having spent most of my life wishing people would see more to me than just my looks, it was ironic that I had spent the last two years pining after one of the only men who did.  
We finished up in the garden and I made my way back to the house to wash all the dirt off myself before the party. Not too long ago I hadn't even noticed how filthy I was, and now, any grime seemed impossible, and rude. Back to the suburbia I guess. Sasha had calmed somewhat since the last party the Monroes had. I found her in our bedroom, combing out a few knots in her dark hair.   
"Hey pretty lady. Where were you this morning? You were gone when I woke up."  
"Early shift in the watchtower. How was kitchen time?" I told her about Aiden and she laughed slightly, still sore from the loss of Bob, even innocent flirtation seemed to hurt her. I kissed her forehead and headed into the shower to wash off the day. 

The party was in full swing by the time Sasha, Maggie, Glenn and I arrived. Noah had been stuck in a conversation with one of the locals and looked immensely happy at our timing. Wanting to talk to Rick and see if he had any insight about our brooding friend I broke off to go find him. And find him I did. Locked in an intense looking conversation with Jessie - the real housewife of Alexandria. Wanting to stop him before he did anything stupid I walked up and touched his arm. The slight flinch against my hand told me he was on edge, but he covered it quickly, and kissed my head in greeting, putting his arm around my shoulder in that protective way he had.   
"Lily, you've met Jessie right?" I nodded, that smile plastered on my face again. Although I did genuinely like the woman, something about the hold she had on Rick seemed wrong to me, and it put me on my guard.   
"The hairdresser right? I need to come see you soon, this is getting pretty hard to handle." I fingered my long strawberry blonde braid, and she gasped in what seemed like genuine disbelief.   
"Your hair is so pretty! I can't believe you'd ever want to cut it."   
"Pretty isn't so helpful when you're running around in the woods all year." I smirked but froze at the slight warning glance on Rick's face. "Good thing we don't have to do that anymore!" I put my best bubbly foot forward for the rest of the conversation before I finally got Rick on his own.   
"Sorry boss. I forgot for a second I'm supposed to be all air up here." He smiled then, really smiled.   
"Lily you couldn't pass for all air if you tried for 100 years. But you have managed to make half the camp fall in love with you so you must be something right. You always have had that mysterious thing going for you."  
"Ah yes. All a girl has to do to make a man love her is turn off all shred of personality." I quipped and he nudged my shoulder in chide,   
"Now that you couldn't do if you tried for 1000 years. I think you're just playing up your more...charming side." I raised my eyebrow at this. I hadn't thought of myself as charming before. But I supposed it fit. I had a knack for getting people, especially men, to bend to my will fairly easily. And I supposed if that wasn't charm then I didn't know what was.   
"If I didn't know you better Rick I'd think you were pimping me out." His expression slightly darkened at this and I laughed a little to let him know I was kidding.   
"I would never ask you to do that. But if you can get information out of them without going quite that far, I wouldn't be upset about it." Smirking, I noticed Aiden on his way over to us,   
"I guess I'd better get my game face on then." He squeezed my shoulder and left as Aiden got to us.   
"Well hey there again. Fancy seeing you here." He grinned at me and I smiled the half smile I knew would get to him and quickly looked at nothing in particular over his shoulder.   
"Where else would I be when all the fun is right here in this room?" He handed me the drink he had brought me and we made a show of clinking our cups.   
"So Lily, what brings a girl like you into a group like that?" I looked up at him, keeping my eyes innocent but inside wondering if he was plying me for information as much as I was him.  
"They protected me, I would have never gotten this far without them. Carol and I, they took us in and in turn, we helped them stay sane I guess."   
"And what was your job I wonder," his expression had changed and I knew the alcohol had made him bolder than usual as he leaned into me, "Keeping up morale?" I flushed at the implication but hid it by bowing my head slightly. How dare he?! But still, the son of the leader was still our best source...and I knew Glenn didn't trust him, which gave me even more reason to find out his real motives. Icky as it made me feel, it was my job to get Intel from this creep. I lifted my head and raised onto my tiptoes, so that I was right by his ear with my hand on his chest.   
"Maybe someday I'll show you just how much I meant to the group." My eye met his as I pulled back and they were dark as night. Biting my lip slightly, another signature move, I sauntered off to the safety of my family. 

 

Daryl

Fixing the bike was harder than I had thought, especially since I kept having to go for runs to get more parts. A lot of what Aaron had brought back was perfect, but he just didn't know bikes well enough to get everything I needed. I snorted as I lay there covered in grease. If Merle could see me now. He was a blatant racist, and wasn't much better with the LGBT crowd. I myself had never had a problem with anyone's sexual preference, but I never would have guessed I'd be spending all my days at the house occupied by two guys in love. Aaron had welcomed me with open arms before any of the Alexandrians. The night of the first party, when he had invited me in for supper, was the first time I really felt like I could be at home here. And that was something I wasn't going to forget in a hurry.  
"Knock knock." I looked around the wheel to see the new Sheriff standing there.   
"Rick." I pulled myself up and wiped off my hands on a stray rag.   
"How's the rebuild going? It's looking great." I nodded and a small ball of pride burned in my chest.   
"It is. Aaron and Eric have been really nice. Letting me come over whenever I need." Rick nodded and came farther into the small garage, taking a seat against the tool bench.   
"Your own people need you too Daryl," he said slowly, "That's what I want to talk about." I bristled. I knew where this was going and I didn't feel like discussing it. Why do you think I spend all my time holed up in this garage? I sat on the bike and waited for him to go on,   
"Anyone in particular? Though I think I can probably guess." A ghost of a smile hovered over Rick's lips.   
"You've been avoiding her. And I'm not the only one that's noticed."   
"I can't Rick. I just can't."  
"She needs you. Sasha says she still cries out in her sleep. And it's not any of our names." My grip on the wrench in my hand tightened till the knuckles were white and suddenly I was angry. Not at Rick but yes at Rick. Why did he have to come in here and bring all this shit up?   
"Fuck...don't you think I know that! I know who's name she was screaming when they were in there with her. Mine. Not yours, Not Carol's, not Glenn or Maggie or fucking Abraham, Mine! I have to live with that."  
"What happened to her wasn't your fault. And it wasn't hers either so you gotta stop treating her like it was." That hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. Was that what I was doing?  
"It that what she thinks? That I blame her? Jesus Rick of course I don't. I just don't know how to look at her anymore." Rick looked up at me, and I said softly, almost to myself,   
"She was hurting and there was nothing we could do about it. Nothing I could do about it. How can I look her in the eye and tell her I'll protect her after that?" And although I could see the softness in his eyes, what he said was serious.   
"She was hurt, Daryl. But she didn't let them make her a victim. Don't you go doing it to her instead." With that he left me, though he paused at the door to remind me of the party tonight. And that my presence would be felt just as much as my absence. I went back to my room in the house to have a nap before the draining night. And as I dozed all I could think of was that day. How it felt to be bent over a trough meant to catch our blood. And her screams as Garrett taunted us. 

The cloth in my mouth was damp with saliva, and the gagging feeling hadn't dissipated since they'd tied it more than half an hour ago. When the bag was lifted from my head I could see Glenn and Rick on either side of me. Both with the same expressions as we realized what kind of place we were in. It was a slaughter house. To our left i could see carcasses of unknown origin disheartening behind an almost opaque curtain. That was when I heard the snap of a belt that I'd known so much in my childhood. The sound of chains pulling on metal and a woman's scream. I knew who it was, her voice as unmistakable even mangled as it was through her pain.   
"Are there more of you?!" a man's voice  
"Go fuck yourself." I heard her spit, and for a second I was proud of her, until I heard another lash, followed by another scream. As my eyes grew more and more accustomed to the light I could just barely see her silhouette through the curtain. Glenn and Rick were struggling beside me when the guys behind us pushed us all forward.   
Garrett came out from behind the curtain, his hands were covered in blood and I felt sickened at what that could mean. Pulling up a chair in front of us he started to talk. As he spoke to Rick I was barely paying attention, all my focus pin pointed on the girl behind the curtain. Every so often we would hear a thud or a grunt followed by her sharp yelps of pain that were making me feel sick to my stomach.   
"We don't want to hurt her boys," at the mention of Lily he had my full attention, "But you have to tell us where your weapons are, and how many more of you are out there. You see, you're a big group. But you seem like a smart man Rick, and I have a feeling you left a few people out there. Just in case something went wrong." Unfortunately for us we were all locked in here with these cannibal nutcases. But Garrett didn't know that. And Rick had no intention of setting him straight.   
"Again" Garrett called over his shoulder. Another lash. Another scream. I felt my friends tense and I knew this was killing them as much as it was killing me.   
"Don't tell him anything!" Her voice was ragged, and she was quickly silenced with what looked like a punch to the gut but it was enough to steady our leader. Garrett however looked livid.   
"How much more do you think she can stand before she begs us to kill her? Hmm?" With a flick of his wrist the men beside us, who I had only just noticed, had their throats opened into the trough. He sauntered back to the curtain and I strained on my binds, but the men behind us clearly weren't going to kill us. They wanted us to see.   
"Now little girl, lets see how loud you can go." We heard the sound of fabric ripping and the implications made me see red.   
"No! Stop no!!!" The lashes fell quick and hard, and I could see a few of the men in there hitting her, though I couldn't tell what else they were doing in the half light of the corner. She screamed in pain and rage and it was the next word that was my undoing.   
"DARYL!" My stomach felt like led and I almost threw up what little was in my stomach. Thankfully at just that moment explosions went off in the compound. Carol's timing could have not been more perfect. The momentary distraction was all we'd needed to overpower our two guards and run for the hidden girl. Without pause I yanked the curtain open, ready to face whoever was behind it but they had already fled, leaving Lily for us. She was hanging just off the ground by her chained hands on one of the large butcher's hooks. She was covered in blood and bruises, some at least a few days old I realized with a start. She's been in here for days. Her shirt hung off her small frame and her jeans were ripped at the hip. She was unconscious and for that much I was glad as Rick and I got her down. Her back was a mess, and I knew from experience that the way I was holding her was enough to make her pass out but we had to get out of there.   
By the time we had escaped and freed our friends she had regained consciousness enough to hobble beside me as I held her up by her waist, being in too much pain for me to carry her any other way. When we found Carol in the woods the small sound she made was almost too much as she fell into the older woman's arms. As if they were the only thing in the world. 

I knew I wasn't getting any rest today and so had a shower before I headed over to the Monroes. I would be a little late but at least I was showing up at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head with Daryl, and Lily realizes some things.

Lily

"How you doing?" Maggie asked as I sat down next to her in one of the large squishy chairs in the room. The house we were in was immaculately decorated and it felt strange to be in a place like this after being in the woods for so long. As nice as it was to get back to some sort of civilization I missed the freedom that we had out there. I felt like a stray cat someone had taken in. Happy to be warm and safe but still a little too wild to be totally comfortable. Having a party seemed ridiculous. What were we celebrating? That we were alive? That we weren't dead like so many of our friends and family? I knew I was bitter, and the deaths of Beth and Tyreese were still fresh in my heart, but sitting there, acting like everything was fine, I felt like I was betraying them.   
And all I could do was keep making sure I had escape routes planned out of that damned house. Maggie correctly interpreted my silence and put her hand on my arm.   
“I know it's weird. But we've wanted this for so long. We have to give it a chance. We have a real shot here for Judith and Carl to grow up safely. Isn't that worth a couple of awkward parties?” Dammit Maggie, always the level head.   
“Of course it is.” I smiled at her...and it didn't feel as forced as it could have. We chatted for a little while longer and I listened to her talk to Noah and Tara. I had admired Maggie since the farm, admired her goodness even through all we had suffered. Rick may have been the leader of our group but Maggie and Glen were its heart and soul. The fact that they were able to have a pure and functioning relationship in the middle of all this mess was amazing to me. Sasha made her way over to us and perched on the edge of the chair I was sitting on. I leaned against her and relaxed a little more. The comfort of having our people around us was all that was keeping me sane, and I knew she felt the same way.   
“Aiden was looking for you.” She murmured. I sighed. Aiden was arrogant and conceited, and he wouldn't last a week out in the real world. Not traits I was very interested in. But the information he could give us about this group could be the difference between us thriving here and everything going to hell. Even after a month there was still too much we didn't know, still too much Deanna wasn't telling us. Like why they had exiled group members before, and how many of them might still be out there. And more importantly, if they could get back in. After what Maggie overheard the Good Father Gabriel saying to Deanna, I wasn't willing to take any chances.   
“Of course he was.” Sasha put her head down closer to mine.   
“You need to be careful with him Lily, I don't trust him...I hope whatever it is you're trying to get out of him is worth it.” I squeezed her hand,   
“I'm always careful. Careful is my middle name. Well Emma is my middle name but Careful would have totally been it if I could have picked my own.” She laughed a little and nudged my arm.  
“Dork.” I smiled. Getting Sasha to laugh, even a little bit, had been hard since Tyreese and Bob died. But lately it was happening more and more. Something that I was very invested in trying to do whenever I could.   
“There's a lot we can find out from him, and too much that's being kept from us. If a little flirting will get the job done then I'm willing to take one for the team.” I made a face and she laughed again.  
“And if he doesn't just want to flirt? Then what?”  
“Then I can take care of myself.” Sasha nodded reluctantly, knowing she couldn't persuade me otherwise. Maggie had known me for longer though, and was willing to try one more thing.   
“Maybe you don't need to be flirting with Aiden when the person you're really interested in is right in front of you.” I blushed and Sasha excused herself to 'get some more punch'.   
“That was a low blow.”  
“I have a point and you know it.” She set her jaw in that stubborn way she had  
“Daryl has barely looked at me, let alone actually talked to me since Terminus. If he wants me, he knows where I am. The same place I've been since this whole thing started. Right freaking here.”  
“Lily, you know how he is. He's not going to just out and tell you what he wants.”  
“So? This is literally life or death. Every day. If he can't just have the balls to tell me he likes me then he can't complain when he sees me with someone else. End of discussion.”  
“Lily...”  
“Enough, Maggie!” I knew I was being petulant but I couldn't help it, and I hadn't quite walked away when I heard her muttering you haven't told him either. Truth be told there was no way in hell I was going to tell Daryl how I felt about him. Maybe before Terminus there would have been a chance...but there's just something about screaming someone's name while you're being tortured that kills all hope of a romance. I found my spy victim by the finger foods. Interesting that everything seemed to be rationed in Terminus except the tiny sausages and mini quiches.   
“Hey,” I tapped him on the shoulder and reached around him to help myself to bite sized appetizer.   
“Hi there.” It was obvious from how he was swaying that he had moved far from tipsy since the last time we'd chatted. Feeling reckless from my talk with Maggie I tugged on his shirt a little,   
“Want to go outside? We could get some fresh air and talk some more.” Aiden followed me out of the large french doors, as I knew he would. Sitting down on the step of the deck I made a gesture for him to follow me. I made a show of rubbing my arms,   
“It's cold out tonight. We're so lucky you all let us in, and we have somewhere warm to sleep...not to mention how scary it is out there at night...”  
“You know I could protect you right?” He was hammered, I could feel it in how he leaned against my shoulder and I could smell it on his breath.   
“I don't know...there are a lot of terrible people outside those walls.” The princess act was sickening, and I was glad we had moved outside so no one could see me putting it on.  
“We know how to deal with people we don't like here. We've got rid of people before. Troublemakers.” Even though he was slurring and I wasn't sure how much of this bravado was for me, I knew this was the right track to push. With an added bonus that he might not even remember what I'd asked in the morning.   
“Are you sure? What did those guys do that was so terrible?”  
“They didn't know how to follow orders.” Well that doesn't sound good.  
“Then they had to go! Didn't they know you're the leader?”   
“NO! They thought they would be better!!” He was getting too loud, and I didn't need anyone else knowing the content of our little chat. I put my hand on his arm and pulled him a little closer, I just needed him to bring the volume down a bit,   
“Who could be better than you? No one here at camp obviously. What did they think they could do better?” he grinned drunkenly and leaned in closer to me.   
“No one. At anything. I can show you just how good I can be.” Dammit, I've lost him. He leaned in, trying to kiss me, but it wasn't hard to avoid it with a quick hand to the chest,  
“Maybe another time, when you can remember how good I am.” I stood up to go, leaving him on the step, and turned right into Daryl.   
Shit.

Daryl  
The party was awful. I'd never been to a place like this, with baby food and people not getting shit faced drunk. I'd seen that Aidan asshole a couple times, and he seemed to be the only person really hitting the booze. I'd already decided against drinking tonight. It was really Aaron's idea, and I thought it was a pretty good one. I tried to find Glenn and Rick for a while. But Rick was chatting up the housewife of the year and Glenn was nowhere in sight.   
Why did I even come to this stupid thing? Definitely not for the food. The meals I'd been having at the guys' place in between working on the bike were a million times better than this frozen junk. Weird that they were just letting it all go to waste though...food is food.   
I finally spotted Maggie sitting with Sasha and made my way over there. I jerked my head in greeting and Sasha moved over a bit so I could sit next to them.   
“How's the bike coming?”   
“You know, s'good.”   
“A man of many words as always.” Maggie teased. I smiled and didn't quite laugh, “Lily was here.” She threw out in a would be casual tone. I nodded and took a drink of the flat soda in my cup, trying to ignore the turning feeling in my stomach at the thought of running into her.  
“I figured she would be,” Though the confirmation feels a little different. “She still here?”  
“Yeah...I think I saw her go outside.” Sasha caught Maggie in a look I didn't feel like thinking too much into.   
“Hmmm.”   
“I'm going to go get some more punch....again.” Sasha excused herself weirdly and left me with Maggie. Despite the fact that we had been through a lot together and that we had been friends for years, I still felt awkward around her. I was the last one of the group to really spend time with Beth before...and I could tell sometimes that she wanted to talk about it. But the pain was still too fresh, for both of us. Tonight though, she had a different girl in mind.   
“Are you ever going to talk to her or what?”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Lily, dumbass. I don't know what happened in that warehouse and I don't need to know the particulars to know that it was ugly. I was the one stitching up her back while she was passed out. But shutting her out isn't helping either of you. You two were inseparable, and now she's hurting and you've taken away the one person she needs more than anyone.”  
As much as I knew we were close, I was sure she didn't feel anything like what I felt for her. How could she? She was a model in her before life, and I was a nothing loser. Apocalypse or not, a girl like that doesn't end up with trailer trash like me.   
“She needs you, Daryl.” Now that's a new one, “At least talk to her.” I nodded and stood, if I could talk to her a little tonight at this social thing, then maybe the next time wouldn't be so terrible.   
I looked around for a little bit before I remembered Maggie had said she went outside. The deck was dimly lit but through the double doors I could see people. I opened the door a little to check who it was and then I saw. Lily...and Aiden. Needs me does she? Looks like she doing pretty damn fine on her own. She was talking softly, with her hand on his chest, but I could hear the words,   
“Maybe another time, when you can remember how good I am.” My stomach dropped like it was full of lead and she turned to me. I could see the surprise on her face, and the shame as she realized what I had walked in on.   
“Daryl...” before she could say anything else I turned and left. Cutting my way through the house I reached the front door after what seemed like a sea of people. Aiden? Of all people! That guy? Really? I could hear someone opening the door behind me so I took off at a run. Bullshit she needs me. I felt sick, and stupid. For a moment I had thought...But it didn't matter. God knows what they did to her in that room and she deals with it by throwing herself at the first douchebag she sees... well fine. That's fine with me.  
I got to the houses we shared, and stormed into the one I'd chosen. I'd claimed a room, but one of the reclining chairs in the living room was unofficially mine and I threw myself onto it, seething. I hated that I felt like this. Like a love struck teenage girl pining over the guy she couldn't have. I thought of Merle seeing me like this, pouting in the dark by myself, and smiled at the knowledge that Merle's reaction would have probably been to punch that little shit Aiden in the face. The image was extremely satisfying. Even so I was glad I had a slightly more level head than my brother. I sighed again. Merle had loved Lily like a little sister, and he would have torn Garrett apart with his bare hands for what he did to her. Ever since we had found her at that truck stop, covered in blood that wasn't hers, trying to mug us for the truck. The memory brought a reluctant smile to my lips. That was right after everything changed. Before we even met the Atlanta group...There was a noise at the door that ripped me from my thoughts and I looked up from my spot.   
“Daryl?” Lily. Pissed as I was, the sound of her voice made me soar a little. Then thinking of her with him brought me right back down to earth.   
“Daryl I know you're in there!” Fuck. Heaving myself up I moved to the door in silence, and opened it with more force than I really meant.  
“What? Got bored of your little boyfriend?” Real mature man. Thats sure to win her over. I could see her walls go up and I immediately regretted my words, though a tiny sick part of me was glad they hurt her.   
“And if I did? You have no claim on me Daryl Dixon. This is the first time you've spoken to me in over a month.” My jaw tensed,   
“I've been busy.” She laughed without humor,  
“Oh really? Fixing up that bike? What you couldn't take five fucking minutes out of your day to say hey or how's it going?” I had nothing to that. What did she want me to say? That I was scared to look her in the eye? Well I was looking her in the eyes now and those little blue bulbs were pissed the fuck off.   
“You know what? I really don't have time for this shit. I'm going to bed.” Good old Dixon avoidance. I shut the door before she could say anything else and heard her stomp back down the stairs. A few seconds later the door of the house next door slammed shut and I let out a breath. Fuck Daryl what are you doing? I dragged myself into my room, and fell into an uneasy sleep, waking up every few hours to toss and turn and regret everything I had just said. 

Lily

If I thought I would be less angry in the morning I was wrong. My anger seemed to have stewed overnight and turned into a festering ball of rage that was going to ruin my whole day. Fucking Daryl.   
“Hey” Maggie and Sasha were sitting at the bar when I got downstairs.  
“Hi.” They exchanged a look,   
“So...Daryl left in a rush last night...”  
“Yeah...he did” I told them what had happened, and in true friend fashion they both agreed that he was an unreasonable jerk. Laughing about it made me relax a little...but not much. It was Sunday, which meant a day off. It was odd that we now had weekends, after so long of not paying attention to what day, or even what month it was. I was tired of rehashing last night's episode, and needed to clear my head so I threw on a cardigan and took off around the perimeter for a walk.   
Why was he acting like such a dick? I knew he didn't like the guy but still! Maybe what Maggie had said was true...maybe he did have feelings for me. Well he has a pretty funny way of showing it by slamming the door in my face. I let out a deep breath my desire to walk doing nothing to relax me. I was overwhelmed by the incredible desire to hit something. One good thing about the end of the world, lots of the living dead to take your rage out on.   
Coming around the corner onto a street I saw Rick leaving Jessie's house. He looked odd. And odd was never a good look on Rick.   
“Hey!” I called out, and jogged a little to catch up. He looked startled to see me but recovered quickly and we fell into pace together.  
“Hey yourself. How was the party? I saw you getting cosy outside with our favourite weak link.” He lowered his voice  
“Yeah. He had some interesting things to say, but I wasn't able to get a lot out of him. He was a little...inebriated.”  
“I noticed that.”   
“We need to have another meeting. Just our group.” he nodded and I could tell that more than just Aiden was on his mind. “What's wrong Rick? You can talk to me you know.” He smiled a little from the side of his mouth and put his arm around me, careful to only touch the tops of my shoulders.  
“I know. We'll have a meeting, and I'll tell you everything.”  
“Ok.” We walked a little while like that, and I could tell there was something else he wanted to say.  
“He feels guilty you know.”   
“What?” I said dumbly, I knew who he was talking about but I had no intelligent response.  
“He feels responsible for what happened to you. He thinks he should have protected you,” I opened my mouth to protest but Rick silenced me with a raised hand, “Just listen for a sec.I think after Beth...I think it was a lot for him to see you like that. It was hard for all of us, knowing there was nothing we could do...I don't think I've ever felt so helpless in my life. But for him...especially considering how he feels about you-”  
“He doesn't-”   
“You know he does Lily, even if you don't want to admit it. If it had been me, if Lori had gone through what you did, I don't know if I could have faced her either.”  
“He did nothing wrong.” We had stopped in the street, and to my intense embarrassment I was starting to cry, something that seemed to happen when we talked about Terminus. “They would have killed him, they would have killed all of you. I would have rather died in that warehouse than live knowing that he got himself killed trying to save me”   
“I know that. And he knows that too...but he just needs time. You know how he is.”   
“You think I don't get that? I know it must have been hard Rick, hearing me...hearing them. Maggie told me what Glenn told her, about what Garrett was saying. It was awful that you all had to go through that, but do you think it was any less awful for me? Do you think being constantly beaten for days was easy? You have no idea the kind of things they were saying to me Rick! What they told me they were going to do to you if I didn't cooperate. What they were going to do to Maggie, and Tara and Sasha! But how could he know that? Because he hasn't fucking talked to me in almost a month, and when he finally does he's being some kind of jealous asshole over nothing!” I was suddenly so angry and became abruptly aware that I had started shouting, though I wasn't quite sure when. I took a deep breath, “My back has healed Rick, he needs to let me do the same.” I walked off in the direction of the house, intending to give Daryl a piece of my mind when I realized he was probably at Aaron's place. Suddenly exhausted, and almost at our front door, I decided maybe a nap was a better option and dragged myself upstairs and fell into bed.   
When I woke up Maggie had left me a note saying they had all gone over to our other house. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but judging by the sun it looked like it had been at least a couple of hours. It was early evening when I went outside, and I could see the silhouettes of my family through the curtained windows of the house. They were chatting and laughing when I opened the door, I spotted Sasha and Tara sitting with Noah. Tara moved over so I could sit, and I joined in with the easy conversation. After a while I noticed Daryl and Rick sitting at the dining room table with Michonne and Carol. I could tell that their discussion wasn't nearly as light as ours, and I moved towards them.   
“What's going on over here?” I stood next to Michonne and felt her shift so her arm was touching mine. It was strange, how such simple contact could bring comfort. Sasha and Tara did the same when I sat down, they didn't put their hands on me, or give me big speeches of their love. But those small gestures, that was what made us a family, and not just a group of roaming heathens. Those little things were what really set us apart from people like Garrett.   
“We're talking about what to do about our leader.” Michonne spoke, “What did Aiden say last night?” Daryl looked up at that, eyes narrow and suspicious.   
“What about him?”  
“Lily's been trying to get information from him, and she got something last night that might be useful.” I had to remember to thank Rick for that, if for nothing else than the look of comprehension on Daryl's face.   
“He said they knew how to deal with people they didn't like. People that don't know how to follow orders. From what I've gathered from talking with him the past few weeks, the people that were exiled were part of the crew that went on runs, and they didn't want to do what he said. Not that I blame them, the guy's a moron. He was probably going to get them all killed.” Rick nodded.   
“People who don't follow orders? We've have to be careful, at least until we know what we're dealing with.”   
“I don't think I can get anything else out of him. After the party, his mom's probably gonna have him on a pretty tight leash.” Carol looked up at me at this, and I knew she could tell I was lying. But I could see the way Daryl's shoulders relaxed when Rick said I was faking it with Aiden, and the relief in his eyes when I'd called him a moron. Rick was right, and I was an idiot for not seeing it before. And as pissed off as I was at him, the thought burned inside my abdomen like a fire had just been set there. I wasn't going to ruin even a slim chance for something I could have with him over a creep like Aiden. I shivered a little, even though the room wasn't cold. Excusing myself to grab a sweater I went quickly into the other house, noting how dark it had gotten in the time I had been inside. I heard the door open again behind me and jumped.   
“Just me” The gravel of his voice was unmistakable, and I could practically hear him chewing on his lip. When I turned he was closer than I'd thought, sneaky bastard.   
“I was a dick last night.”  
“You were.” He smiled, that damned crooked smile.   
“I was.” I was immediately frustrated again.   
“Why?”  
“Why what?”   
“Why were you a dick last night.” His eyes narrowed and he stepped back. My new found realization was fighting with the overwhelming truth that this particular Dixon brother was a lot like a cornered animal when it came to his emotions. To be approached gently, and with caution.   
“You know why.”   
“No I'm afraid I don't actually, you'll have to tell me.”   
“I'm not gonna apologize for not talking to ya if that's what you want. I was just going off what I saw last night. For all I knew you two've been screwing all over the place.” From the uncertain look he gave I knew he was fishing for me to deny it but it still stung that he thought that of me.  
“You gotta do what you gotta do.” He tensed and I felt like hitting him, knowing my voice was raised but somehow being unable to stop it. “Is that really what you think of me? That I'd fuck a guy for information?”   
“No, but-”  
“Then what? Why were you so pissed off last night?”  
Silence.  
“Whatever Daryl. I'll be here whenever you're ready to be an adult.” I stormed off to my room, fully aware that I was acting just as childish as he was. But I couldn't be in the same room with him. What if Rick is wrong? What if he really does just care about me as a friend and I had completely taken everything out of context. Considering I had only been entertaining the idea that he liked me for about 24 hours it didn't seem that far out of the realm of possibility. I was almost about to change and go back to bed when I heard footsteps coming upstairs. Thinking it must be Sasha I continued taking off my cardigan and threw it over the chair. There was a small knock on the door,   
“You decent?” Daryl. I was so mad. And hurt, and sad and everything I should be. But I also just wanted to hear his voice some more.  
“Yeah, come in.” he pushed the door open slowly, and stood just past the opening. “What is it?”  
“What do you want me to say?”   
“What?”  
“When you asked me why I was a dick, what...what answer you looking for?” In that moment I realized he must have been sitting downstairs coming up with this conversation, and I wondered how it had gone in his head. His jaw was tense and I could tell he was scared of what me answer would be, which is probably why my voice had a lot more softness to it when I spoke next,  
“I want the truth Daryl. I want to know if it's the same reason you've barely looked me in the eye since Terminus. I want to know if I'm making things up in my head or if I should be doing things very differently.” He was stiff, and I could tell everything in him wanted to run.  
“I can't-” I cut him off with a frustrated noise that really wasn't helpful,   
“Can't what?! Why can't you just tell me what you want?”  
“I want you!” The words were out of his mouth before either of us realized it, and I think he was even more surprised than I was that he had actually said it out loud. He flushed and I could almost feel him pulling away.   
“Then you can have me.” 

Daryl

“Then you can have me.”   
Her voice was small and I almost didn't hear it. But she definitely said it because she went 8 shades of red right after the words were out. I can have you? I could feel a muscle in my jaw twitch and the fear in her eyes as I stood there in silence. Without thinking I had crossed the room and somehow my hands were on her waist, her little gasp and the way her hands moved to my arms were all I needed to know I hadn't been hearing things. I tilted her chin up to mine, and as soon as our lips touched, I knew nothing would ever be the same again.   
I had kissed women before, drunken encounters in bars with my brother. But this. This was the feeling of connecting with someone I actually gave a shit about. This was better than anything I had ever dreamed of. She made a sound as a pulled her in and for a horrible moment I thought I'd hurt her back and pulled away.   
“I didn't say stop.” Her sapphire eyes were dark and in spite of myself I was grinning. Was this actually happening? The girl I had wanted for over two years actually wanted me back? Her hands made their way to my chest and she gently tugged my shirt, leading me back with her to the bed. I immediately panicked,   
“Don't you wanna wait till-”  
“I've been waiting two years for this, if you think you can stop me now you are a very silly man.” Two years. All this time. Jesus Daryl. We fell onto the bed and I held myself above her, looking down at the scene I had pictured so many times.   
“Do you want this?” She asked from below me, a slight frown appearing on her face, clearly mistaking my hesitation for doubt. I nodded and moved towards her, kissing her again, harder this time, as she was setting the pace. God her lips are perfect. We flipped and somehow she was straddling me. She pulled at my shirt and I let it come off, for once in my life not caring about my back. I pushed at the hem of her thin undershirt, her skin soft where my rough thumbs were touching it, and when she didn't stop me I tossed it to the same pile as mine. Trying not to stare at her I looked up at her face, and seeing it happier than I ever had I felt a hot burning go through me as though I had taken a shot of whiskey. She looks like that for me.   
She stood up off of the bed, and for a moment I was confused until her hands moved to her button, quickly undoing her pants and pushing them down past her feet. She stood there for a minute, just letting me look at her, and I sat up as she came back on top of me. Moving back above her I relieved myself of my own pants, suddenly feeling very exposed, and unsure of where to go next. Thankfully, Lily had no such problems. 

Lily

I'm in bed with Daryl Dixon. After we woke up, naked and tangled in each other, I was suddenly very aware that Sasha might come home at any minute., and sat bolt upright.  
“What's going on?” He asked groggily  
“Sasha.”  
“She came earlier and left.”  
“What?!”  
“I pretended I was asleep.” he pulled my waist and I fell back against him, “Stay here.”  
“Well it's hard to argue with that proposal.” I twisted around to face him and he opened his eyes to look at me properly. It was strange, I thought that last night would change things between us. That it would make it awkward or weird but I was wrong. Lying here with him just felt right. I wasn't self conscious of the fact that I had no clothes on, and as he pulled my under him with a grin, I felt just the opposite. 

Daryl

I wasn't sure why the morning sex meant so much more to me than the night before, but it did. Maybe because it happened in the cold light of day, not in the middle of an argument. She'd fallen asleep afterwards and I watched her for a little while before I got up. Her lips were parted slightly, chapped from the last few hours. If I'd thought she was perfect before, it was nothing to how I felt about her now. As much as I wanted to stay in bed with her all day, I was starving. I hadn't eaten much the day before and the smell of leftovers was wafting enticingly upstairs. The thought of going down there should have bothered me, but it didn't. Instead of being embarrassed that I had clearly stayed the night I wanted them to know. Lily said that everyone knew already how we felt about each other, something we talked about just a little. But going down there felt like I was announcing it to the whole family, and instead of being shy, I was proud. I was proud for her to be mine, and I never wanted her to not be mine again. And thank god for small favors she felt the same about me. I was claimed.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted this on FanFiction.net, might be moving all my fic stuff over here. Let me know what you thought :)


End file.
